Shedding Destructive Behavior

The world is a chaotic place. At times it's easy to feel overwhelmed and that you can’t cope with all that’s going on.

As a result, you may find yourself engaging in unhealthy habits and behaviors that are not good for your mind, body or soul.

Self-destructive behavior can manifest in many ways. It might start off innocently enough and then spiral completely out of control.

Self-destructive habits can become addictions that flare up when you need to escape uncomfortable situations or avoid intense emotions - they help mask feelings of self-loathing and low self-esteem.

Common Destructive Behaviors

  • Alcohol

  • Drugs

  • Smoking

  • Unhealthy Relationships

  • Unbalanced Eating

  • Self-Harm

  • Social Isolation

  • Excessive Shopping

  • Gambling

  • Self-Pity

  • Apathy (failing to take action in life)

When you regularly engage in self-destructive behavior, it blocks personal growth and emotional maturity. It affects all areas of your life and your relationships.

For example, you tell yourself that you are someone that needs a drink to relax and connect with others. Yet because you have a problem, you end up saying and doing things that create conflicts in your relationships.

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, you should seek medical attention and counseling. In addition, deep spiritual work can help you find peace of mind and get you re-connected to your feelings.

Meditation, yoga, spending time in nature, nurturing your body with good food and finding a support group of like-minded people are all ways that you can start to take better care of yourself and make healthier choices.

When you are doing things that fill you up with new energy and purpose you will begin to feel more self-love and self-acceptance.

Over time, you will learn new coping skills to process and deal with intense emotions and uncomfortable feelings.

Emotionally happy and grounded people are less likely to want to bring a lot of chaos and negativity into their lives.

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You've Got This

Anxiety is a normal part of life and we all experience it to some degree. It's part of the natural response to stressful high-stakes situations: a job interview, a work deadline, a health issue, an emergency, etc...

However, there can be times when anxiety builds up around smaller issues - issues with fewer potential consequences.

As your anxiety and fear builds up, you convince yourself that the situation is daunting and it's easy to blow things out of proportion. Even if you know it's not a big deal intellectually, you still find yourself getting worked up.

While there may be emotional and psychological factors that contribute to your anxiety, it's often a sign that you're ungrounded or that you have an energetic block.

When you find yourself worrying about an upcoming situation, the best thing to do is to practice grounding yourself . Visualize the cause of the stress falling away down your grounding cord. Feel your connection to the earth. Breathe! Remind yourself that you are a lot more capable than you are giving yourself credit for.

If you are in the middle of dealing with the situation, take a deep breath and clear your mind. Be in the moment.

When you clear your mind and take the first step, you will feel your courage and confidence returning. Trust yourself - you've got this!

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Goals vs Intentions

Clients often ask me for guidance on how to reach their goals – to find a relationship, have a child, buy a house, get a certain job, etc..

While it's natural to set personal goals, I've found that setting an intention will often achieve a result that's better than the original goal. The result of setting an intention is often more spiritually aligned.

What's the difference between a goal and an intention?

A goal is a clearly defined, measurable achievement:

  • I want to place in the top 5 in the marathon.

  • I want to buy a house in this specific neighborhood.

  • I want to lose 10 pounds.

  • I want to have 10,000 followers on social media.

An intention aligns you to your spiritual energy and can be hard to quantify:

  • I want to feel more connected to people

  • I want to be healthier

  • I want to be open to new business opportunities

  • I want to be more vulnerable

A goal propels you towards an accomplishment or an achievement. Failure to achieve your goal often leads to unhappiness. Reaching your goal might make those around you envious.

An intention taps into your heart and soul and moves you towards a deeper experience, like, you want to be happy so you can be more optimistic and positive about life.

To find your intention, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Focus on something that matters to you. Bring this image into your heart charka. Continue breathing and grounding your intention through your heart. Doing this exercise will help you discover your true motivation and get clarity about what matters most. Is it about getting that 10,000th follower on Instagram or is it about creating an online community where people connect and share ideas and inspirations?

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Making Genuine Connections

So much of life involves superficial interactions with people who are distracted and ungrounded.

That’s why it stands out when you make a genuine connection with someone - it’s uplifting and energizing.

What do I mean by a genuine connection?

It’s when you create an aura of trust and encouragement with someone - where you feel comfortable sharing your feelings, vulnerabilities and can be your most authentic self.

Forming a real connection with someone will make you feel less isolated, more hopeful and joyful. If you are experiencing a moment of grief, it can comfort you.

It’s also a spiritual connection that offers validation, insight and healing.

Validation happens when you experience self-acceptance and love and see this reflected in someone else.

As you feel more connected, your heart chakra will open up. You’ll notice that it’s easier to tap into the vibration of compassion and empathy.

What gets in the way of forming real connections?

When you are struggling to connect to someone else, it’s usually a sign that you are disconnected. Often, this will manifest as feelings of fear, negativity or stubbornness. It will be easier to cling to preconceived notions about people rather than being open and in the moment.

What steps can you take to open yourself up to a genuine connection?

I always say that there’s no substitute for being grounded. When you’re grounded, you feel more secure and calm. It allows you to tap into your feelings and instincts.

Practice honesty. Be real with someone. Take a chance.

Practice empathy. Listen to the other person. Imagine yourself in their shoes. Spiritually, we’re all made of the same Universal Energy.

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Healing Yourself with Gold Light

Emotional and energetic blocks can manifest in our bodies as pain, disease or other health issues.

Recently, I worked with a client who was having trouble becoming pregnant due to some reproductive issues. She was undergoing treatment, however doctors told her that she should not expect much and that she should definitely not get her hopes up about conceiving.

I began our session by setting up my space to look at her female energy and tune into her creative energy.

Right away, I noticed her 1st and 2nd chakras were blocked by a dark, heavy mud- like substance that was restricting the flow of energy and clogging the female channel.

The picture accompanying the block was that she was afraid of being stifled creatively. Coincidentally, she made her living in the arts and – at the time of our reading – her business had come to a stand still. Family programming had made her fearful that she wasn’t going to be able to be a mum and still be independent and creative. The dark energy represented the effort she was in as well as the anxiety she had about not being in control of the next chapter of her life.

As I was draining the dark energy away, I immediately began to flush the area with gold light.

Why? Because gold light is the powerhouse of all healings! It’s the highest vibration you can use as it comes directly from the Universe.

As I continued to flush gold light into the blockage, I began to see more and more of her life force energy returning as the darkness drained away.

As my client was getting her own energy back, she commented on the lightness and the tingling sensation that she was experiencing. As we completed the healing, she told me that – for the first time – she wasn’t worried, that she could absolutely see herself having a baby and how ecstatic and joyful that would make her feel.

You can use gold light to heal yourself and ANY situation in your life.

If you have a sore leg, go ahead and send gold light to your leg and feel the energy melt into the area. The faster you run gold through the area, the more power and energy you will experience!

Watch and become aware as gold energy flows through each cell and radiates this new vibration.

When you connect with Universal energy and use gold light, you can heal pains and aches, regenerate cells, remove blocks and rebalance your energy…you can do it all!

Like everything, the more you practice this technique, the more you will notice a difference in your energy.

 

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Putting Yourself Out There

There will be times in your life when you feel disengaged from the world.

You might find yourself avoiding connections with new people such as work colleagues, potential friends or love interests.

Maybe you believe that you can't speak up and be yourself and that you must hide from reality.

You might feel stuck, stagnant or bored. Perhaps this boredom is leading to self-destructive behavior...

These are all signs that you need to create new experiences in your life. The best way to do this is to put yourself out there.

But what exactly does it mean to put yourself out there?

It means expanding your comfort zone and doing things that challenge you. It means shaking things up and trying things that you normally wouldn't.

It's about being open and allowing your energy to be more out there.

Practice taking a leap of faith and saying yes to things. Accept an invitation or better yet, initiate something.

Don't be shut down by perfect pictures. Almost any situation is an opportunity for growth if you stay connected and true to yourself.

Don't be afraid of failure or embarrassment! You will regret missed opportunities far more than the occasional stumble.

Putting yourself out there can be uncomfortable. Practice being in the uncomfortable place. Visualize yourself acting in these moments. Practice using breath and gold energy to stay grounded.

Your spirit is constantly working to create new opportunities for personal growth. You'll begin to notice when these moments come up. It feels exciting and organic.

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New Year, New Beginning

I always love the beginning of the year! For me, it's a wonderful opportunity to hit the reset button and start fresh.

It's the perfect time to look at the upcoming year and set your intentions. Think about all the areas in your life that you would like to continue to go deeper into.

I tend to focus on personal growth, career, relationships, spirituality, health, finances and community. 

For example, focusing on personal growth might entail working on your emotional state so that you can be more grounded.

Being open in your career space might mean that you find new ways to put yourself out there by getting a new job, taking a class or by starting that business you always dreamed of.

Going deeper in your relationship might be to work on the state of your current relationship so that you can discover new ways to communicate and be open.

To feel more connected spiritually you might begin a meditation practice so that you can be more calm and centered.

Improving your finances might be to make a budget so you can save money.

The desire to be help in your community might be to volunteer at your local pet shelter. 

It helps to write intentions down. This way they become concrete and anchored in reality, especially once the initial thrill has worn off and you encounter your first obstacle.

As you look at 2019, part of your journey might be to change certain beliefs about yourself. You might have a belief that you are too busy to meditate every day or that you are too old to learn a new job.

Get creative, especially when it comes to money. I can't tell you how often I hear “I can't do this because I don't have the money.” It's amazing how opportunities open up once you commit to your endeavor.

Whatever this year has in store for you, embrace any opportunity to be authentic, honest and real.

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Energetic Agreements

The Holidays are upon us!

Whatever your tradition, it's a time of gathering with family, friends and significant others. It's a festive time, but it can also be stressful.

Focusing on the relationships in your life – family, friends and significant others - can intensify unresolved feelings and conflicts. 

Perhaps you have a strained relationship with someone in your family? Or, maybe you've been ignoring a problem in your relationship?

Our relationships are a result of energetic agreements we have with other people. These agreements are a way for us to learn and evolve on a soul level.

Whether it's being born into a specific family (or joining one), having a child, meeting a spouse, making a friend or finding the perfect pet, all of these relationships happen because we need them for our spiritual growth. Our soul has made an agreement with the other person (or pet)If there is a stress in one of your relationships, what can you do?

Start by knowing that there is a reason for the relationship: this is an opportunity for growth and learning for you both.

Then ground yourself so that you can be open and listen. Make space for them to communicate and feel validated. Listen with a clear, quiet mind! 

While you want to be open, don't suppress or diminish your truth. Reflect on your journey – where you've been, what you've learnt. Being open to someone else doesn't mean forgetting the path you've taken. It's important that you share your experience with the other person for their spiritual growth. 

If you maintain openness to new ideas and connectedness with the truth and wisdom that you've learned, the energetic agreement will benefit you both.

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Reclaim Your Power!

Negative, stressful things happen! We all know someone (or maybe it’s us) who is going through a difficult time - a relationship issue, job loss or a health issue.

When these things happen, you tend to feel powerless. Your sense of strength and purpose is challenged. Anxiety kicks in and the nagging voice of worry and self-doubt takes over.

Situations where you feel unempowered create blocks and imbalances in your third Chakra.

The third Chakra is your energetic power center. It’s located above your belly button in the solar plexus. Confidence and self-esteem come from a healthy third Chakra

So - what can you do to regain your power when life throws you a curveball?

It sounds like a cliché, but it starts with taking a deep breath.

Bringing oxygen to your solar plexus will cleanse and re-energize your Chakra and restore the flow of energy. Also, focusing on your breath will help quiet your mind.

Take deep controlled breaths. Focus on the air gently moving in and filling your belly. With each exhale, feel the stress and negativity releasing.

If your mind starts to chatter, pause and then re-focus on your breathing.

Once your mind is quiet, continue to breathe deeply and imagine a bright golden ball of energy coming down over your head. As the gold light moves down through your body, you feel it healing and restoring every part of you.

See the energy reach your solar plexus. Feel the doubt and anxiety being washed away. Continue to breathe.

When you feel restored, allow the energy to continue down through your body and out through the soles of your feet.

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