defense mechanisms

Getting Reconnected

There may be times in your life when you feel blocked and things aren’t going well.

You feel disconnected. You feel overwhelmed by things happening around you - politics, environmental issues, disasters, suffering - and also things happening directly to you like health, family, relationship and financial issues.

When these things happen, you become fearful and old habits and defense mechanisms kick in.

These situations often leave you feeling powerless and shut off from your energy - you feel the Universe is not available to you in that moment.

The opposite is true. You have infinite Universal energy that can empower you to face any situation and create new solutions.

Getting reconnected to your energy is the key. When you do, you will begin to notice your energy flowing again and your mind and heart begin to open. You will feel light, alive and in the moment. From this place, you gain a new perspective, a new sense of calm and will often come up with a creative solution.

Getting reconnected is easy! The fastest and simplest way is through breath. Here's a simple breath technique that I use when things start to go awry:

Breath Technique

  1. Sit in a comfortable chair
  2. Close your eyes (this helps you to focus inward).
  3. Gently breathe in through your nose and send oxygen down into your belly. Exhale out through your mouth.
  4. Continue to inhale deeply through your nose and out through your mouth - this will slow your heart rate
  5. With each exhalation, feel your mental chatter and stress being released
  6. Focus on your breath so that you can continue to let go of your blocks, fears and distractions.
  7. Allow yourself to sink deeper into total stillness.
  8. When you find that place of stillness, give yourself some time to experience it.
  9. If you do not immediately find this place, don't worry. Try focusing on gold light to help calm your mind. Visualize the gold light entering your body with each breath.
  10. When you feel yourself restored, take a moment to enjoy this new feeling.

Making Yourself Ready for Change

Many clients who come to me do so because they are looking to change things in their lives. Common themes seem to be: improving relationships (or finding new ones), changing old emotional patterns, or discovering work that is more in alignment with their passion.

To successfully change your life in a meaningful way, there are certain obstacles that need to be addressed and cleared.

The first thing required is openness. Openness gives you the elasticity to change behavioral and emotional patterns. It gives you a wider lens to look at your situation. Being open to new things usually comes with some initial discomfort and unease, so you need to be willing to tolerate these feelings while it is happening. Remember, you are not going to die and it’s just a moment in time.

We all have personal narratives that we use to define ourselves. I have found that many narratives feel like they are true only because you repeat them so many times! Your spiritual self might be trying to communicate a different story, so be open to rewriting your narrative based on information from your spirit.

Perfect pictures are unreasonable expectations that create all-or-nothing scenarios. Change is a gradual, incremental process, so letting go of perfect pictures allows you ease up on yourself and to make progress at a pace that works for you.

Rationalizations and excuses are defense mechanisms generated by fear, avoidance and the unwillingness to commit to the process. If you find yourself coming up with excuses to avoid doing something that you know would ultimately be good for you, take a moment to go within and tune into the underlying reason or fear that is preventing you from moving forward.

Even though there will be some uncomfortable moments while preparing yourself for change, it just means that you are growing and expanding. Something new and interesting will come into your life as a result of taking these first steps. I promise!!